september 15, 2002   san francisco, the great american music hall

dear diary: I don't know when today, tomorrow and yesterday separate. we are driving from portland, or to san francisco, ca (the golden state, pop. 33,871,648-3rd biggest state, 1st most populated-trivia check). it is 807 miles and we have no day off. the mountains don't make things easier (except on the eyes). we take a break in ashland, or for a nice 2 or 3 minute sleep and then hit the road again. we each pick our particular energizing poison though eli is the most experimental with the rocket fuel but as richard ashcroft said, the drugs don't work. I'm trying the traditional one eyed nap or the quick "count to five and then open your eyes" driving nap. I'm so delirious I see a llama-actually I really do see a llama. johnny and scott are asleep which makes it... easier... to... kill... must... sleep... can't... keep... eyes...

san francisco is as beautiful as ever. we arrive alive as planned and not in ambulances. because of the fog this is one of the few towns were you can freeze and sweat at the same time. tonight's show features radio 4 and denali-they are touring in the opposite direction and san francisco is where we meet, like 2 ships passing in the night, exchanging fluids.

september 16, 2002 los angeles, spaceland

los angeles, city of angels, movie stars and sexy sexy sexy sexy stuff. just nearing this great city I am overcome with feelings of sexiness, oozing out of every pore (indigestion?). well anyway, we arrive alive again, travelling down interstate 5 past the endless golden hills and slaughter houses. la is always good for special guests and tonight is no exception with members of tool, page hamilton from helmet and abandoned pools showing up-previous introductions include timothy leary, gene simmons, alyssa milano, matt sorum and my all time favorite - bob sagat. when we pitch the gvsb movie "indie" to mgm or paramount, I would like to be played by bob sagat. scott will be played by rob lowe, johnny by the guy from married with children and eli by vanilla ice. I don't know what the poster will look like but I think it's really going to be good. can you hear me knocking, hollywood?

tonight we were also visited by robbie conal, professor at usc, well known for his controversial freedom of speech posters. johnny is working with him on a new book for akashic and was recently featured in "it's a free country." and ladies and gentlemen, mr. nick launay, australian ex-patriot and freak*on*ica, killing joke producer extraordinaire graces us with his presence and humor. nick is no longer known as "mr outback" but now "jackie hollywood." no, I don't know why.

september 17, 2002 san diego, the casbah

well, la, I bid you a fond adieu. thanks for losing our singer in the depths of your madness only to have him reemerge sometime in the afternoon in one piece, though visibly disoriented. we have all become zombies at this point and only listening to death metal "zombie hymns" stirs us. we are broken, bruised and covered with the funk of many nights. we are stopped at the agricultural check and a lengthy argument ensues by the inspectors over whether our funk could be classified as some sort of vegetable matter, thus breaking the law. they finally determine that the growth on us is more inanimate than living vegetable matter and we are on our way...

anyway, the casbah is an institution in san diego and it is especially known for being directly under the landing flight path of the san diego international airport. seeing a 747 about 500 feet off the ground is pretty disturbing but no one seems to mind anymore.after the show (which was avsolutely the best show we've played in san diego this month) we decide to drive outside of san diego. newsflash-there is nothing outside of san diego-you have to drive to el centro, which is not close. no one is pleased that we are arriving at 4 am-I blame everyone else but me, even though it was my decision. I secretly hate myself but I'll never tell them.

west coast, check!

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